Ira Glass, on Marriage and the “No Escape Clause”

KURT BRAUNOHLER: I do have a theory now that if I do get married in the future, what I think I would want to do is have an agreement that, at the end of seven years, we have to get remarried in order for the marriage to continue. But at the end of seven years, it ends. And we can agree to get remarried or not get remarried.

IRA GLASS: Why?

KB: Because then I think you get to choose. And I think it would make the relationship stronger.

IG: ...I think actually one of the things that’s a comfort in marriage is that there isn’t a door at seven years, and so if something is messed up, in the short term, there’s a comfort of knowing, ‘well we made this commitment, so we’re just going to work this out. And even if tonight we’re not getting along, or there’s something between us that doesn’t feel right, you have the comfort of knowing, we’ve got time, we’re going to figure this out’. And that makes it so much easier. Because you do go through times where you hate eachother’s guts, and the no escape clause, weirdly, is a bigger comfort to being married than I ever would have thought before I got married.

(From NPR’s Valentine edition of This American Life).

This is one of the best, accurate depiction of marriage I’ve ever heard. Mr. Bubbles and I had a discussion about this last night and we both agree that Ira made a valid point.

Because let’s be real, marriage isn’t always peaches and cream. And the fact that, somehow, in so many words, when we made that vow “for better or worse”, we imply that we’re stuck with other for.. well, ever, so shouldn’t we always try to work it out?

Because being “stuck with each other forever” is actually a very, very good thing. Marriage to me is a lesson in humility, a lesson in selflessness, a lesson in communication,and  a lesson in efficiency. Because I chose Mr. Bubbles, and now we’re in a team and we’re bind by this “for better or worse” contract. Even if, truth be told, some days I feel like strangling the dude, but at the end of the day we insist on making shit work. Because, well..

if we’re going together in this long journey, might as well work well with each other and enjoy the ride.

What are your thoughts, blogger friends?

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Terkadang..

(warning : a very emo post. If you don’t feel like emo today, skip ahead).

Gue mikir.. kalo jadi istri orang di negara asing itu nggak nyamannya banyak ya.

Kalo berantem sama suami, kalo berantem sama tetangga, kalo ada stress inilah, itulah.. nggak bisa gampang aja nyetir pulang ke rumah ortu untuk mendinginkan pikiran.

“Pulang ke rumah” itu artinya bayar tiket yang mahal, perjalanan jauh.

Gue ini orangnya termasuk jarang homesick.. tapi terkadang, kalo lagi banyak stress, rasanya pengen drop everything, pack my bags dan pulang ke rumah. Ke Indonesia.

Asalnya kami ada rencana pulang tahun depan.. tapi belakangan ini kami berubah rencana jangka panjang (berkaitan dengan rumah). Jadi kayaknya.. kami nggak bisa mudik tahun depan.

Sedihhhhhhh. Tahun 2014 kali baru pulang. Berarti udah 10 tahun sejak gue nggak pulang. Satu dekade.

Gue sering mikir, Jakarta sekarang kayak apa ya? Kalo orang ngomongin “Pacific Place” lah, atau nama mal apalah yang dulu belom ada saat gue disana.. gue ngerasa, wah.. Indonesia udah berubah banyak.

My country’s changing without me in it. Life goes on. And somehow it feels a little sad.

Sering gue mikir, sebenarnya setiap kali gue bilang “rumah”, rumah itu yang mana sih? Rumah itu di mana sih? Apakah rumah gue disini? I spent most of my adulthood here. Tapi setiap kali gue berpikir seperti itu, my heart won’t agree to it.

Home is in Indonesia. It was, it is. It has been.

And it will always be.

no matter how many years I’ve been away.