Anxiety level shooting through the roof. Some days I wonder how I made it this far without any meds at all. Welp, who’s kidding, look at all the bad decisions I’ve made through life. Sometimes I wonder would my life look different had I been on meds?
But what meds would cure insecurity? Only life and experience, I suppose. The rest are but temporary relief. And who needs that? I mean, that’s what wine is for, right?
Met some interesting new people today. Went to Baby Bubbles’ friend’s birthday party. Met some local SAHMs. I think I did alright (meeting new people used to give me serious case of social anxiety). Forever awkward will always be my life motto.
There’s this one gal who I felt like we could connect if given more opportunities. But my fear of rejection won me again today. I was too much a wuss to ask for her phone number. Her son is only a few months younger than mine, and she made suggestive comments like “oh, they seem to be getting along so well”, and “it’s so hard to meet new friends in this town.” I feel like she’s just as socially awkward as me.
When it was time to leave she said “well, maybe we’ll see you again later?” to which I replied, “yes, of course I hope so!”
I am a horrible wuss. I deeply regret not asking for her number. Like, seriously. This awkward gal and my ole awkward self, I can practically picture us hanging out in a park with our monsters being monsters and us, chatting, cups of coffees in hands.
Now I might have to stalk the crap out of her. I sure as hell hope my internet stalking ability will not fail me this time given the only info I have of her is her first name, her son’s first name, and the company in which her husband works for. Oh and the area they live in. That’s all I’ve got to go by.
If I were given another opportunity to meet her again next time, I would be sure to leave with her phone number in my address book. But more than likely I think I must be a creep and stalk her on the internet. If I find a way to email her I will let her know that I regretted not asking for her number and that maybe one of these days we can do a play date?
I am indeed the poster child of social awkwardness. Yep. Find me someone you think is worse than me, and I’ll give you a run for your money. I am that sure.