There is something cathartic about spending my friday night with a glass (or three) of Malbec, with Say Yes to the Dress on TV and the Christmas tree glistening in front of me.

It’s been one of those days again. I’d like to think that I have this depression thingy under control, but relapse happens from time to time. Fortunately it’s not a bad one this time. I’m able to keep it together.

I really hate the holidays. But you’d think otherwise if you see me ‘round this time of year. I made family photo cards and sent them early, I decorated our tree a week before Thanksgiving, I decorated our bannister with lighted garland and tomorrow, I’ll have B hang the outdoor holiday lights.

We’re hosting a holiday dinner in just about 2 weeks. Somehow I decided that I’m gonna cook all the food, when there was option of potluck. 

Why am I a walking controversy, you might ask. To that I’ll say, for my son. 

I want him to have good memories of the holidays. Some happy routines, happy traditions he can look forward to, or just at least, expect. A tiny bit of normalcy.

But as the weather gets colder, the snow well on its way, I feel discouraged.

Thank God for wine.

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