You know what’s weird?

Watching people you grow up with getting married, having kids… watching people you grow up with growing up. Watching people you grow up with flourishing in their career.

How do you fathom it? These are the very same people you used to gossip with about the hot boy sitting a few rows behind you in class. These are the very same people who used to utilize your shaded porch to make out with their boyfriends.

These are the very same people you smoked your first cigarette with over a rough day of heartbreak and nasty Economics test grade. 

Strange. A really, really strange feeling that I don’t quite understand. 

But I think I like it. It is strange, but lovely, in its own way. People grow up, people move on. Now we’re adults.

Adulthood is scary. But it is also lovely. Delicious and lovely.

If only I have a black tie event I have to go to….

this dress would do nicely.

That yellow is magical.

My mother and sister will be here in exactly one week. One week.

The last time I saw my sister was 4 years ago. It’s not so bad. The last time I saw my mother was 8 years ago. It’s been one hell of a long, long ride. I have been waiting for this to come. For the longest time I had no idea when it will finally take place again; so many things were so uncertain. And during those times I consoled myself with only one word : someday.

And it’s never so bad. Time went by so quickly. My son is almost two; it’s hard, truly hard to fathom. I was one irresponsible girl not so long ago. Wild, uncontrollable, emotional, insecure. (Not that I am not anymore, but you see.) Now I have been a mother for almost 2 years. I have been a wife for longer, I have been a lover for much longer. Time always went by so quickly; it never betrayed me.

And yet, when one week is the only time left between me and them, I’ve found myself feeling like the clock is ticking so god-awful slowly. One week feels almost like it’s going to take the entirety of all eternity. I can find things to do; to keep myself occupied, in fact I don’t have to find them, they’re always there. But in everything I do today, I keep finding myself longing for one week to be gone already.

When you know when someday ends, you can’t stop running toward it. You can’t help doing whatever you can to cheat your start. But like much of everything, life always gets ahead of you. Time always gets ahead of you; you see, they have their own rules. You don’t make them.

And all you can do, as always, is play along.

So many things are happening in my life. In our family’s life. Thankfully B has landed himself two job offers after being unemployed for approximately one month. The one job pays extraordinarily well but would require him to travel 100% of the time. They say they’d try to keep him home as often as they can. The other one pays good (definitely higher than his last job, whose pay sucks) and it’s local, so he’ll be home every night and for the weekend. This is the job he really wants to have, as it will open the door for his long-term goal of another career. But this one requires security clearance. We’re still waiting for words on that and hopefully he gets it.

My neighbour is one irresponsible dog owner who let her canine creatures out all day and night long, barking away at everything. We’ve lost sleep, the right to peace and quiet of our own home, and I’m on the edge of my sanity. Talking reasonably doesn’t seem to work with people around here. They are just… unique. It seems like people around here lack some serious common sense and logic. You can’t reason with them. They believe in the old ways. “Oh, we’ve been here 20 years.. that one’s been here forever.. what right do you have to write her a letter telling her her dog woke you up at 5:30 AM?”

Yeah. Really. I wanna punch someone in the vagina for that.

I’ve always known that this neighbourhood has some Wysteria Lane-like qualities, filed with busybodies and gossipers and illogical people but it was all good until we’re part of a disagreement. I got tired just thinking of having to deal with these folks for years to come. (Should’ve known that paying an 800 bucks mortgage for a spacious 2100 sq ft. has its catch.)

So other than that, life flows by everyday. My mother and sister will be here in 19 short days and I regret that all this nasty crap taking place is not allowing me to fully anticipate their coming.

I’m fucking tired, that’s all.

Kitano Kii and Okada Masaki were ridiculously adorbs in this movie. And their dialogues.. oh, their dialogues.. they feel so natural, so unpretentious. Almost like dialogues I had with my ex boyfriend the last year of highschool.

I love this movie, Halfway. I’ve watched it for more times than I care to count. It’s such a feelgood movie. It’s so Japanese (which I just adore)..uncompromisingly so.. but in being Japanese, it still feels universal, relatable. 

Maybe I should rewatch this movie again tonight.