Yes I realize it IS spice girls, and I realize that makes me lame. But I grew up in the 90s, and back then liking these girls was cool, ok?
So. Anyway. That’s beside the point. I just have this tendency to ramble.
This song speaks on point about my relationship with my mother. When I was a teen (and I had a serious case of teenage rebellion, too) we didn’t get along. Like, almost practically at all. We’d get into a fight every other day, and the only time we got along smoothly was when we went shopping together (that’s something we both enjoy doing).
Then my early twenties came. I lived far from her, and yet, somewhat, we would still fight. On the phone. I remember other friends who’d talk to their mothers every week (or even a few times a week), and I never understood why. At best I talked to her twice a month. And one out of these two phonecalls was spent arguing.
Then my midtwenty came. I was about to become a mother myself. I’ve heard so many stories about how a lot of parents and children who previously didn’t have good relationships became “reconnected” after a big turn in life. My story is that very same cliche.
Cliche though it may be, but I’m really happy and grateful to be able to reconnect myself with my mother. I’ve always known and understood she is a strong person but shame on me, I never realized how great a person she is until much later in life. My mother is one of my heroes in life, and she has been through so much in her life only to come out stronger, wiser, and better than ever. She’s been to hell and back, and she’s the kind of person who inspires you with her quiet strength.
She is now my best friend and I talk to her a few times a week (gasp! couldn’t imagine doing that even two years ago). She is an endless sea of parenting resource, advice both practical and emotional, and she has so much wisdom she ought to just write a book about it.
My mother went back to work after years of being a SAHM and after a major turn in our family life (my folks separated). She didn’t endlessly sulk and cry and mourn the lost of a man she once loved so dearly, but instead put her best foot front and step forward. She is now doing well in her career, advancing and even starting her own side business. Imagine going back to the workforce in your mid thirties with people giving her the side eye and doubting her capability.
My mother has raised us well, and although admittedly, I am the black sheep of the family (and I take full credit for that – not blaming anybody here), she is still so proud of me. And moreover, we are so proud of my sister, who, at her early twenties, has established a great path to a wonderful career in the field of law, where it’s mostly dominated by men.
I realize this isn’t Mother’s Day or anything, but I feel like writing about her. An Ode to my mama, of some sort. Love you, Mama, and even if I try my darnest all my life, I can never be half the person you are.